Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Ssshhh, Capricorn is meditating, let it be or it will bore you to death. This is a good time to focus on your spiritual side, Capricorn, and leave everyone else alone.
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
You are like a magnet for good vibes this week. You may feel like you deserve these great things, but good vibes don’t grow on trees, Aquarius. You can’t have them all. Gemini needs it more than you.
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Towards the beginning of the week you are an eloquent and radiant conversationalist. Luck is with you in love and money, but don’t get used to it. Towards the end of the week you’ll be back to the watered down version of your best self.
Aries
March 21 - April 19
You are feeling extremely needy and it would be nice if there was someone there to love you, but people like it when you put an effort into loving them back. Aries, wake up!
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
If you still don’t have a job, Taurus, you might want to use this week to try a little harder, just a bit, it won’t hurt you, I promise. If you (to everyone’s surprise) have a job, looking busy might help you get a promotion, but that means more responsibilities, so... yeah, I don’t know.
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
It’s all in your head, they tell you. It’s true, everything is, your head is so up in the clouds this week, let’s hope no one is trying to reach you.
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
The lack of romantic love in your world has finally made you to say yes to a date with that not-so-secret admirer you’ve been avoiding. You will likely eat or drink too much to get through this date. You do see how this is just not good for anyone, right?
Leo
July 23 - August 22
You look lovely, Your Highness. Purr.
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Things couldn’t be more boring for you, Virgo. You are sober, and determined and you are making life goals lists.
Libra
September 23 - October 22
No one likes a sad Libra, and you can’t turn that frown upside down without compliments and flattery. Try to pick up your slack, do some work and get through this without dragging anyone else down.
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Love and money are pouring down on you this week, don’t be selfish, donate it all, adopt all the cats.
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
It’s difficult to deal with harshness of reality sometimes, and it’s not easy for you this week at all. Maybe just don't go out this month at all.
By: Bad News Cat
